Max's Card: A Lesson in Self-Worth
One of the precious gifts of being a grandfather is that greeting cards include special messages from the grandkids—no matter their age.
It’s a couple weeks back, Max arrives with my birthday card but he doesn’t seem his normal upbeat self.
"What’s up buddy ?"
"I wrote in your card Bump and then Mom gave the card to Maesey." And then he chokes up, "And she scribbled all over what I wrote."
"It’s ok buddy—she didn’t do it on purpose. She’s not even 2 years old and she doesn’t understand what she’s doing."
It hit him really hard. We have a good hug.
The next morning, Lyn and I are having our tea and she says,
"That incident with Max and your birthday card—very sweet. He’s such a sensitive soul. But doesn't the same thing hold true for you and me ?"
"What do you mean ?"
"Think of it, how often have you had an achievement you are proud of and then interpret someone else’s actions as scribbling over whatever you accomplished. When we think this way, we effectively erase our own achievements."
My wife is wise—and she’s spot on. This happens all the time.
Other people and their actions can’t erase who we are nor what we’ve done. Erasing only happens when your thought process permits it.
You know for certain you've fallen into this thinking trap when you find yourself comparing. Comparing any aspect of your life to others—your height or weight, how good you are at a task, how much you earn, the schools you attend, the vacations you take, the relationships you have, the impact you have in the world, whatever—is a no-win proposition ! The second you compare is the moment you begin erasing who you are and the difference you make in the world.
So for you, you can avoid the comparison trap by training your brain to see the good in the world. Instead of ruminating over why something or someone else is better, larger, bigger, stronger, more expensive, than you/yours; redirect your attention and focus from them to you and look for the bright spots.
For 18 years I’ve been training myself to see the good in the world. To get started, it’s simple:
on a daily basis make a list of 3 things you’re grateful for
If you already make a gratitude list daily, then:
on a daily basis, read or listen to what others are grateful for (if you need help on this, head over to The Daily Gratitudes and subscribe to our daily gratitude blog)
And when you want to tackle comparison head on:
ask yourself what you are grateful for about your current situation and list as much as possible.
What other tips or techniques have worked for you ? Please share.
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