Relative power produces entitlement and less gratitude
Comparison is the culprit yet again.
Every day, I work with CEOs, business owners and executives and through my interactions, I’ve witnessed their generosity and gratitude so I’m convinced they genuinely embrace gratitude.
New research has emerged suggesting the opposite is the case. Researchers looked at Wikipedia articles and academic journals and found that the more senior the author, the less gratitude they expressed in their acknowledgements.
Since the researchers did not know how transferable this would be to the workplace they conducted a study where people were given a role as either a high power boss or a low power subordinate. A favour was extended to every participant (the same favour) in the study and when researchers assessed the gratitude expressed, they found the high power bosses expressed less gratitude and felt less gratitude for the favour—as compared to the low power subordinates.
The studies concluded that the high power bosses felt and express less gratitude because they felt entitled to more benefits and the favours because of their elevated position (which has been shown in other studies as well). It was disheartening to hear they found lower power subordinates were motivated to express gratitude to curry favour and strengthen relationships, particularly with the bosses.
Back to comparison—I never find comparing serves me well but because I’m human I compare without even realizing it. Regardless of the situation, there is always someone who is more powerful than you and always someone who is less powerful than you. Therefore, you have to guard against both—being entitled and being disingenuous.
So when you find yourself in a successful or fortunate situation, get in the regular practice of using one or both of these tips:
Especially when you have high relative power: make a list of everyone who contributed to the success and list their contributions. Then try to double the number of people on the list and then double the number of contributions made by each person. Finally, when you express your gratitude, do so in terms of the contributions and sacrifices made by the people on your list.
Especially when you have low relative power: make a list of the people who’ve supported you in your life and the contribution to your life. Then express your gratitude in the current situation as a “paying it forward” to those who’ve helped you. This will help you express your gratitude with no expectation of anything in return.
Writing these lists out is more effective but you can list it out mentally in your mind. Regardless, these simple tips are not easy but they get easier with practice.
