How to turn something negative into something positive
Functioning at a high level requires that the executive function of your brain is switched on. For this to happen, you must be in a positive emotional state. The moment you enter a negative emotional state, you effectively switch off the part of your brain that controls critical thinking, creativity, and curiosity. The result - poor decision making.
The challenge that we all face is that negative experiences are a part of life and when we experience something negative, it drags us into a negative emotional state. Obviously the degree to which we are dragged depends on the severity of the negative stimulus, other things going on in our life and our own natural level of resilience.
There are preventative steps you can take to help lesson the negative emotional impact on you, like:
Keep a daily gratitude journal
Get a good balance of sleep, exercise and nutrition
Socialize and engage in fun activities
These practices build resilience and your ability to stay positive and keep the executive function of your brain engaged. No surprise these steps are similar to the activities we want for our children—which over years, helps them to grow up as balanced emotionally intelligent beings.
I encourage you to look at your existing lifestyle and ask how you make sense of these suggestions.
The more difficult situation is when the preventative steps are not enough and you find yourself in a negative emotional state. It happens frequently—there’s no shortage of challenging situations, people and circumstances in life. Unfortunately it can be hard to get out of this state because your brain is not functioning at its most basic level of survival.
Here’s a simple step-by-step process to help you turn something negative into something positive so you can regain your positive emotional state.
Acknowledge that you’re in a negative emotional state - Until you acknowledge you’re in a negative state, you can’t do anything. Be on the lookout and catch yourself. The more you practice, the quicker you’ll get at noticing. When you realize you’re in a negative emotional state, physically inform your body by saying out loud, “I’m in a negative emotional state and I’m going to change.” and by gently pounding your hand on a table or by clapping your hands or by taking a deep breath.
Reexamine the facts - What do you notice in the situation? Are you missing anything? Pay attention to what really is a fact and what is conjecture.
Reassess your interpretation of the facts - How you make sense of the situation is usually the biggest contributor to your emotional state. It’s not what happens, it’s how you interpret what happens that makes you feel a certain way. Your brain is constantly trying to keep you safe so it predisposed to attaching negative connotations to behaviours and events. Although your brain is trying to protect you, it distorts the situation to being more negative than it actually is. In this step is where you will usually find the nugget that pivots you from a negative to positive emotional state. These questions will challenge how you make sense of your situation:
When looking at the motives I believe led to other people’s behaviour, could they be different? What positive or at worst, neutral motive might be at play?
How have I contributed to the situation by making it worse?
What am I learning because of this? How am I growing and what does this mean for my future?
Where is the good in this situation (people, relationships, outcomes, technology, skill, finances, health, spiritual)?
What is the opportunity?
Who can I rely on for support?
By this point, I hope you’ll have hope !
I’m interested to hear what else you may do to switch from a negative to positive emotional state ? Please share in the comments so others can benefit.
